Guernsey Waste in incorrect bag-rejection horror May 6th, 2024

The rubbish collection folk at my new place seem pickier than at other places on Guernsey.

Last week, they removed some card packaging that I'd included in the card and paper (plastic) clear bag, and left it on the lane.  This week, they have attached a rejection label entitled "Polite Notice".  Just like modern software-engineered error messages (see attached tag "extremely_general_error_handling"), this does not give a specific reason why the bag was rejected, but instead lists miscellaneous possible "reasons", leaving the victim guessing, or perhaps trying to follow a process of elimination.

In this case, some possible reasons, which the label does not claim to be exhaustive ("was most likely because ..."), and of which none apply, are:

(i) "did not have the required payment sticker" -- no, I applied to 90 litre sticker; or 

(ii) (a) "too heavy" -- no, I estimate it was 3kg, and I easily supported the bag's weight on a single finger;

      (b) "oversized for the payment sticker applied" -- is this a repeat of (a)?  Anyway, I applied the 90 litre sticker, which is the biggest one.  I don't think the bag as it stood exceeded that;

      (c) "wrong night" -- no, according to their online calendar, residual waste was May 6th. There were also other bags of the same type on the lane.

It's perhaps worth noting at this point that I don't give a shit whether these imbeciles' notice is "polite" or not, as long as it is correctly applied.  It would be much better to have a "Rude Notice", that curtly states one specific reason, rather than a passive-aggressive "Polite Notice" that mumble-wumbles about various possible reasons, none of which seem to apply.  If Guernsey Waste would introduce a service option, where the residents at a particular postcode could elect to receive such "Rude Notices" instead of "Polite Notices", I would recommend to my neighbours that we opt for it.

So instead of going to work this morning, I drove this bag to the waste centre.  There were maybe a dozen cars waiting in line at the entrance, moving slowly every few minutes.  I thought maybe I can just sling it and do a U-turn, so I left the car in line and carried the bag on foot into the compound.  The employee in there definitely agreed that the bag should have been taken.  He picked it up and said it was light.  He said the sticker was fine.  He didn't comment on the volume, but he said several times that they should have taken it.  He said we can get rid of that, but why don't you take a photo, so you can report it to Guernsey Waste.  Good point, and my phone was in the car, so I went back, and then the car was nearly at the entrance booth, so I went to enter with the car.

The lad on the entrance booth had noticed me walking the bag in before, and asked about this.  I said yes, got car, and camera, going to take photo, then your colleague will dispose.  He said why camera?  I said for complain to Guernsey Waste.  He said I have to charge you.  I said no, I already paid for the label on the bag.  The lad called a supervisor.  There was a discussion.  The lad radio'd the guy I'd spoken to in the yard, to confirm my story.  Yes, it all seemed to check out.  Finally I was released into the compound.  No wonder there was a big queue of cars, if this level of attention was given to each visitor.

Inside, everything went fine.  I did receive an anecdote from a fellow service user about a time when he phoned up to enquire about disposal of some engineering material, and it resulted in four police cars arriving simultaneously at his house.

A volunteer also offered to hold the bag by their finger, to demonstrate the lightness of the bag.

On the way out, there were now quite a few dozen cars.  They tailed all the way down the facility's drive (Longue Hougue) and for several hundred metres along the main road (Bulwer Avenue) southwards.  The lad was obviously doing a great job questioning everyone on the way in.

In addition, my attempt to report this via the gov.gg web site resulted in my time being valued at zero while I was asked to identify steps, motorcycles, bridges, and several other types of object (note to people in the future: yes, people really did do this to each other), but did not ever result in the form being submitted.  Note to web site makers: if you require "reCAPTCHA" to be done before submitting a form, you do not have a web site, you have a pretend web site that blocks information flow.