condor annoyances / amusements

Recently, the first comprehensive review of Guernsey's monopolies, duopolies, quasi-monopolies and state-owned enterprises was undertaken.  Condor Ferries was classified as "pretty ropey".

Condor Ferries says that checkin closes for vehicles one hour before departure.  This means that vehicle passengers get to sit in a vehicle queue for around 55 minutes, inhaling the diesel fumes from whoever's left their engine running.  Today it's a Preston Roofing van with reg YC21 NHK, for example.  Ferry staff do not supervise this, so it's up to passengers to ask each other to turn engines off, if they care enough.

That's just a warmup for the main fumes-breathing sessions, which are in the enclosed car decks on the ferry, at boarding and unboarding.  The exact profile depends on your position in the deck, which you have no control over.  Although there are premium lounges onboard, there is no premium option to roll on first and roll off first, thus avoiding all these fumes.  Some people really do run their engines for 10 minutes inside the car deck at the end, in anticipation of being able to drive off. I'm not completely clear on why this isn't treated as the attempted manslaughter [0] of every other person in the car deck, as that's what it is.  Remember, people commit suicide like this, in their garages.  Again, there is no supervision from the Condor staff, but a passenger may take the initiative.

There has been progress on the reference number front. I hadn't been asked for a reference number at car checkin for a while, so I concluded they'd started looking up bookings based on car regs, which is the obvious thing to do.  They did ask me this morning, but when I said I thought you'd started looking it up, they looked it up fine.  As I say, progress.

Condor's timetables are all over the place.  They don't have regular schedules.  An overnight ferry departing at 22:00 and arriving at 7:00 would be perfect, but instead a 21:45 will often go via Jersey and not arrive in Guernsey until 11:45, thus wasting half of the following day.  The issue of irregular timetables is at least something I've seen acknowledged by Condor in the paper.

Service cancellations because of weather are inevitable, but having more suitable ships would help keep the frequency down.  When one is cancelled, passengers are presumptuously bumped onto a different voyage on a different day, that is probably no use to them.

Lurking over any prospect of an improved service is the state-selected nature of the ferry "concession".  The governments of Guernesy and Jersey pick a winner, so to speak, every few years.  This winner then has unique advantages over any potential competitor.  I don't know the details of this, and would be interested to find out, but it might involve special access to docking slots, or even exclusive use of docking spaces (I don't know the terminology for this), subsidy, or perhaps even some kind of exclusive license (very bad if so).

[0] can one have an "attempted" crime of negligence?

Update: the guy behind me was listening to metal, loud, on headphones.  On the way over two days before, it was a drunk guy loudly informing his wife, repeatedly, that everything left of Poole was Cornwall, and referring to the Isle of Wight as the Isle of Man.  And there are often people in one's seat.  The Horizon lounge has the best views, but the business lounge, which only has side view, probably has better behaviour.

Update: this time the group on an inside table are having a lively debate over what Alderney is, with the Isle of Wight being the front-runner, followed by Guernsey, followed by France.

The "give money" function on the wifi captive portal does nothing, so one has to buy a voucher from information desk and use that.

Condor's plus points include the fish and chips, and many of the individual staff members.