DKB verification

 In an effort to get a workable EUR bank account operating in the EU, I've ventured outside Austria, and tried opening an account with DKB, a German "no branch" bank.

They've outsourced their verification process.  You get an email with a link to a third-party "identity verification" service, hosted under a domain other than dkb.de.  Bad start.

The idea is to have a video call in which you show your id and answer some questions.

My first call didn't get answered.  After around 15 minutes wait, the web page suggested making an appointment, which I did, for several days later.  

When the appointment came around, I started the video call, and sure enough it connected to a typical call-centre outsourcee.  I requested slow German, and he offered to speak in English instead.  He asked me some questions like am I opening the account for market research, and is it because I have a new job.  Then on to the main event, the showing of the passport.  This went badly.  He wanted there to be another interesting passport page, after the photo page, and was furious that this was just a blank page in mine.  He became deeply upset on observing that I have a beard in real life, but no beard in my passport.  His closing remark on hanging up sounded like "Meine Gute!".  Is this a polite exclamation like my goodness? (It wasn't "Mein Gott!").

On the third attempt, there was again a big wait.  After around 10 minutes, a lot of beeping happened at my end, which I took to indicate they were about to pick up.  But they weren't.  Some time later, they picked up.  This time the person was pleasant, and I had to hold the passport, tilt it this way and that, wave my fingers around in front of it, and stand on my head etc.

One of the questions was worded something like "on behalf of which contract partner are we talking to you today".  The answer was DKB, but it took a few seconds to work out what they were on about.

How much money would you entrust to a bank you can't visit, which outsources identity verification to a third party engaging in a ludicrous videocall charade, where the first attempt that actually connects results in a third party shouting at the customer across the video call and hanging up?

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